WHY?, August 2025

my brain’s favorite trick

is to worry when all is well

she is addicted to the taste of a problem

“all is actually good” is hell

anxiety, they named it

fixing things lifts her mood

creativity, I tamed it

I feed it back as brainfood

I whisper to her 

it’s ok 

for everything to be ok

which is a lie; but sounds bright

because nothing ever was,

and nothing ever will be ok… right?

but you know how survival works and we all move on

we find a few “ok” moments

plant a flag there

pretend we've won

so, l guess you understood the game, right?

she’s creating problems

if she’s not creating art

I give her beautiful problems to solve

bright knots of color to untangle and evolve

blink

then maybe

just maybe

I can enjoy

things being just ok

no effort

no mind games

no strategic thinking

no actions

no decisions

no movement

just the joy of being there

how hard can it be?

you know nothing…