THE VICIOUS CIRCLE, August 2025
There is a certain amount of sadness in not being able to fuck you as much as l want
But luckily, my crave
Is like a sinus wave
Steady
Symmetric,
And repetitive
Tend to collide on a flat line
And that keeps me creative
Highs are joyful and lows are...
Just low.
l don't even know what that means
But shit finds its way to poems, you know...
l am all over the place, right?...
Calm down, that's all right.
Hang in there and listen Because I have learned that l cannot heal until all of me is shattered and broken.
But how will l know if l’ve fractured it all?
When the fractured pieces lie scattered,
When they no longer echo the past and keep their peace like words left unspoken
Then, l will know that l am healing.
But...in the mean time...
l am very much attracted to your dark side
The contrast between your beautiful smile and your randomly visiting dark voice turns me on
Your capacity of capsulating that naive joy and that cruel despair in the same body sucks me in
l jump into a tunnel vision when l see the reflection of my words in your eyes
and that makes my heart spin
Hearing the crave in your voice for compassion Seeing all the veins on your hands with aggression...
l want to put you in me and hold you up there
Still
Quiet
Drain you from whatever pushes you to those beautiful edges you love
l see your eyes
l see your sceptical vulnerable eyes for brief moments
And...that...is enough for me to want to give you more
l know l know...it's not getting any better...
calm down
That's all right
Because l've learned that l cannot face death without giving in full.
But how will l choose to give, if my heart remains dull?
When new wounds bloom, while the old loves still ache
Then, even in pain, l will know that l am living.
You know what,
IT is not easy to heal while your weight still sits on me
l feel it in my spine
Remembering your giggle plays tricks on me
Don't worry l'll be fine
The ache in my thighs
The burn in your eyes
The pain in my sighs
Won't let me exercise
You grabbing me from behind
Made me loose my breath
Still dunno where to find
l wanna get lost in you
Do you know where to hide?
Ok..ok..enough of this drama..l am rising from here...
l promise, l will not say l’ve journeyed my limits without getting lost or wandering too far.
But how will l know if l have touched base with every scar?
When the roads to those scars carry my footprints,
Yet they no longer call me back,
Then l will know that forward, l will be moving...